LOCALITY

  -  Kayode unrelated but anytime i feel like writing or want to write, i sleep. it’s somehow related but allow it. alright alright, i think it’s now less of a surprise now that i’m a promise and fail kind of writer in certain aspects, and i think it’d be best for you and I to accept this( *if there’s someone on the other side still *). it makes things easier on the head for both of us. i promise you i think about writing every other day, i’ve tried writing every other day too… but i don’t know, it all just seems very difficult now, it’s frustrating to an extent, knowing you used to enjoy something so well, having my eyes literally shimmer with excitement anytime i just THINK about it. it’s been a little over 3 months since i last put up a blog post and a little bit of disappointment set in. I HATED it. I hated myself more for hating it. since when did i start letting little setbacks hold me down instead of drive me. i guess every human has a limit to how much failure they can...

if i say i’m not tired, trust me i’m lying. i’m not an active member in the society or none of that, but i constantly feel drained, like my mind wanders off to some place and my body moves on vibes. what am i thinking?, what bothers me? i don’t know or maybe i do. maybe i just choose to ignore all of it and deceive myself a little more…. till i can’t no more. when i get to that threshold…. the point where i can’t help but to tell myself the truth and accept it… face value i don’t really know but…. i don’t really know still I JUST WANT IT TO MAKE SENSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! mentally i’m all over the place i’m distracted  by what or who? i don’t know… or maybe i do maybe i’m just one small boy who is over his head, thinking he can achieve everythingggg is this what it feels like? questions i want to ask those that did all of this before me or am i just moving a little bit too fast? i don’t know  maybe i am maybe i shouldn’t think about it too much maybe i should just put my head down a...

Happy new year!! We are 23 days in.... but it’s better late than never right?!. My asylum... how much i’ve missed you As usual i have an excuse... but let’s skip as many formalities as we can, shall we..... The end of an era The beginning of a new one Continuation! I think my ability to write left with last year Only one way to find out i guess What does it mean to be special? Is it subjective to what people feel or perceive as being “special” Is it something within? Or is it something of bare face value? It’s just a tag - nothing else to it in my books  What is your definition of special?... something irregular?, something different than what you consider normal or ordinary?, maybe a talent that no one else possesses?. There’s another word for it. Weird! Words are beautiful!...aren’t they! To me special is weird Weird is special... at the end of the day it’s subjective to who judges that and whatever or whoever is being judged We’ve all heard stories, tales, memoirs of some of the...

1 year, 365 days.. So much yet still so little. So many phases.... one being. Recurring.... replaying.... re-experiencing. Let’s take a trip down memory lane shall we... What era?.... What time?.... I’d say my earliest memory of this year and we move down from there. I was a blank yet distorted slate... i still might be who knows..... lost myself in myself, i was in a place i understood mentally but i allowed it to consume me... I helped myself damage myself. It didn’t look like it but i gave up on everything and i was ok with it.... i mean why stress right... “It’d all be pointless in the end” my philosophy of life back then... to live is to die... so i didn’t get too attached.. emotions? far from me.... let myself feel.... but didn’t let my face show reactions.... hard guy... stupid boy! Questioned a lot of things! I was still sane... So i did what any sane person would do... get help.. but i didn’t know how to ask for help.. What was i going to say... “Help me... I have no idea who ...