LOCALITY

1 year, 365 days.. So much yet still so little. So many phases.... one being. Recurring.... replaying.... re-experiencing. Let’s take a trip down memory lane shall we... What era?.... What time?.... I’d say my earliest memory of this year and we move down from there. I was a blank yet distorted slate... i still might be who knows..... lost myself in myself, i was in a place i understood mentally but i allowed it to consume me... I helped myself damage myself. It didn’t look like it but i gave up on everything and i was ok with it.... i mean why stress right... “It’d all be pointless in the end” my philosophy of life back then... to live is to die... so i didn’t get too attached.. emotions? far from me.... let myself feel.... but didn’t let my face show reactions.... hard guy... stupid boy! Questioned a lot of things! I was still sane... So i did what any sane person would do... get help.. but i didn’t know how to ask for help.. What was i going to say... “Help me... I have no idea who ...

I feel elated for no reason at all Feels weird This will be a happy one. Rising like flour mixed with yeast, i’ve attained something i always thought was out of my reach. Maybe it’s because of the way things are currently (i’m relating with a lot more humans than i’m normally comfortable with), or it’s a newly found sense of maturity. I used to believe that i was “socially awkward” main reason being that i’m extremely introverted, so i felt like they both came as a whole package, “one can’t exist without the other being there” kind of thing - silly me.... played myself for years with that stupid concept. I had to write this one as it happens 10:30pm 11/12/21, I experienced writers block - i completely hate it, makes me feel stupid. Sometimes it’s really ok to allow people into your headspace, eases the pressure off you a little.. sometimes you might not know where you’re going with whatever you’re doing or creating and others can because they see it from their own angles and give you d...

  I  can’t mess this up again! (* it’s hard!! *) Ever gotten so close to something, you can almost feel it, it’s all you dream about No matter how stupid it sounds It’s just up there, driving you..... Hard work is harder than it sounds.. and pain is much more painful when you can’t see the origin of said pain... As someone struggling with constant depression and anxiety, it’s sickening seeing how much people have branded it, giving it awareness - yes, but not in the way it’s supposed to be... It’s another sunday! I think this is my new release day - soft! 12:25 am 5/12/2021 I’m going through like five different phases in my life, scary, no element of excitement or thrill from my perspective.... if you ask me it’s a moving little bit too fast!!, let’s calm down! I’m falling off Plagiarism at its best.. Nothing is ever original, we are all spin offs of someone that was a spin off of something making more unique spin offs.... i think we call it traits, or something in that area. ...