A conversation with them

 



What do I have?
What do I know
Who have I been?
Where have I been?

I’m doing this where it all started
In the journal I stole from my uncle's yard back in 2021

Held in ideas that became nothingness or absolute gems
Countless possibilities - how our story could have or should have gone
Hurdles overcome, others too big to deal with.

So we locked up, hid ourselves, chastised our being
Why?
It felt like we were in over our heads
The hope and joy we once felt - in its own unique form morphed into paranoia
Filling our thoughts with “what ifs”, reminiscing on where and when it all went south… things we
should have done…. steps we should have taken
Our embodiment murdered us
At least he tried to
And we don’t blame him
We alter, we don’t compliment

quick, sudden and drastic
blessing or curse, I really don’t know
but I loved them, did they me? I can’t say, I’m not sure
but it grew toxic

We made it toxic
We demanded to much in quick succession
Mentally draining, we were THAT daunting feeling telling him “YOU’RE NOT THAT GUY”
Created to be his escape, we subjected him to emotions on the flip side of happiness

so it’s understandable that I had to do away with them?
maybe so
did I have to?

We made things go south and we shifted the blame

take responsibility

Yes we should have

I should have
I am all of you

and WE ARE YOU
Parts of your existence that you felt had to exist separately
Without interference
Avoiding corruption from the rest

Then we felt rejection


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