incomplete

I feel elated for no reason at all

Feels weird

This will be a happy one.

Rising like flour mixed with yeast, i’ve attained something i always thought was out of my reach.

Maybe it’s because of the way things are currently (i’m relating with a lot more humans than i’m normally comfortable with), or it’s a newly found sense of maturity.

I used to believe that i was “socially awkward” main reason being that i’m extremely introverted, so i felt like they both came as a whole package, “one can’t exist without the other being there” kind of thing - silly me.... played myself for years with that stupid concept.

I had to write this one as it happens

10:30pm 11/12/21, I experienced writers block - i completely hate it, makes me feel stupid.

Sometimes it’s really ok to allow people into your headspace, eases the pressure off you a little.. sometimes you might not know where you’re going with whatever you’re doing or creating and others can because they see it from their own angles and give you different ways or direction the story could go... and the scary part is i realised all of this in 48 hours..

This whole process is completely foreign to me, feels like a whole new world, complicating and questioning my morals for all my life.

Extremely selective bastard - desiring a small circle of friends and a larger one at the same, I’d choose the former any day and at anytime still.

With this “new sense of maturity” it should mean i desire more friends.. but it’s quite the opposite... 

I’m perfectly ok with the amount of friends/ people i have around me... though it’s a small one, it’s full of positivity. I’m not forcing my energy on anybody (*no prejor me*)

*ugh i’m sounding like a motivational speaker........ let’s try this again shall we....*

*************************************************************

What do i have for you today...

Another discovery off my corrupted perception realised off the most random of conversations.

It’s about now.

THE PRESENT

The most random of all time frames

The past, you remember 

The future, you foresee, anticipate- in a sense

The present, well it’s the present, a mystery and you live it..

The gift you can’t predict, clearly all gifts are not “the best”, not what we hoped/ wished for or plainly the wrong thing.

Insanity at its finest - that’s what you’re about to experience.

The future, your prospects, those goals that aren’t really affected by what happens at whatever time, bottom liine is no matter what it’s going to happen, those plot holes must be fill so you can go on and live with yourself - the sense of accomplishment ...

The present doesn’t really have much effect on them, whatever happens now doesn’t change those prospects... to me that’s the highest level of self control you can attain.... walls of protections on those dreams.

One big play and you are the director, dictating who the casts and crews are, evaluated off the the silent audition you conduct in your head..

I’m happy with the pictures of me - my mind that you have in your heads, imperfect and crude, just the way it is... letting you know that you’re better than someone else or someone else understands your pain.

Where’s the line between real and fantasy?

I see it as a coin, with the option of being biased.... using your dreams, you can actualise your fantasies  and make them your reality.

(*i really do not understand what that whole paragraph was about*)

Find your high!

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Tough times don dey last

It’s been heavy to breathe!

This past week was an eventful one to be honest, i got a lot of things done...

After my project supervisor dodged me for over a week, I was finally able to meet him and get my project topic approved.

Something about the design and implementation of an Attendance management system.. 2022 will be a busy year.

After months of being played with by linktree and mailchimp, i finally figured it all out!

(*my roommates will probably tease me for this one lmao*)

I got to meet someone this week too!, a very good friend! helped me with my writers block alongside Kiitan(ONE BOY LIKE THAT).. i hope to get the best out of the friendship

(*too cheesy*)

I created something with some people too, I think it drops in like 3 - 4 hours... i’m super pumped about that and i can’t wait for you guys to listen to it, if you want to get the update, subscribe to my mailing list here or follow me on IG using the same link.

And as for the near future i’ll finally be going back to my fathers house on Friday! maybe i’ll force myself to go for one of these shows or fest... let me detty my December a little.

But then i have Chapter one, two and three of my project looking at me and smiling at the moment, that will be my excuse.

Anyways i hope you found sense in my nonsense.

It’s really just one of those ones - poorly constructed and makes the least amount of sense to me.

I really hope you found something.

Till next week!

Drop a comment too!

Stay Soft!<3

Written and compiled by LOCAL MAN - still an aspiring KVLTist.