falling off

 

I can’t mess this up again!

(*it’s hard!!*)

Ever gotten so close to something, you can almost feel it, it’s all you dream about

No matter how stupid it sounds

It’s just up there, driving you.....

Hard work is harder than it sounds.. and pain is much more painful when you can’t see the origin of said pain...

As someone struggling with constant depression and anxiety, it’s sickening seeing how much people have branded it, giving it awareness - yes, but not in the way it’s supposed to be...

It’s another sunday!

I think this is my new release day - soft!

12:25 am 5/12/2021

I’m going through like five different phases in my life, scary, no element of excitement or thrill from my perspective.... if you ask me it’s a moving little bit too fast!!, let’s calm down!

I’m falling off

Plagiarism at its best..

Nothing is ever original, we are all spin offs of someone that was a spin off of something making more unique spin offs.... i think we call it traits, or something in that area.

Now for those that don’t know, I was into web development at a point in my life, well i still am, it’s not just taking as much space in my life as it used to.

It used to be the PLAN A, now I’m trying to make it the PLAN A again.

I’m falling off

I used to be so in love with web designing and coding generally, though it was hard but i still loved it, having a father who is easily one the best I know(an APTECH graduate) 

*make i use my papa brag small lmao*

it is only proper for me to learn as much as I can from him..

SS2, that’s when it all started, a teacher who taught and continued learning that’s who he is, a beautifully engineered man.. I hope i can be more like him soon enough, because these days time is effortlessly priceless...

Back to base...

Using a very abstract teaching method, forgetting the basics and putting me into the stir of it directly.. completed my first window application in 100 level. 

To the best of my knowledge that’s the first time i felt like i truly accomplished something.

Good times.

There really wasn’t much to life at the time - everywhere set.

Three years later it’s the complete opposite, i’m all over the place and somewhere at the same time.

Focus shifts and interest changes, even if most of the time you don’t want it to.

That feeling of wanting more for yourself - motivation - envy’s alter ego.

Let’s face it we are all driven by something, fame, money, pride, flat out happiness, a goal beyond any other human’s comprehension but yourself(that information you’re not willing to volunteer just yet) or it’s just all of it.

No matter what drives you, allow it! maintain the concept of good and evil still.

I’ve learnt so much more outside the fences of school than i have on the inside. 

It’s been rubbished!

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(*lord help me!*)

Last month I dropped a wish list.... stupid right?

Yes i do stupid things regularly.... don’t judge me, just read..

In this wish list i was completely direct with the things i wanted, the most important of them all, wish number 2..

There’s this crazy group of yutes doing doings, an empire in the making, trying to making an impact, already impacting, a big calling!

KVLT

I’ve been interested in working with or for them for over a year now and i’d wait for as long as i have to until i get to work with and for them...

Well I got very close in-fact i’m still very close to realising this dream.

With the assistance of someone a very good friend(@frvky on IG) of course - i really can’t do much on my own

I was able to get in contact with someone, some of you might know him as PARTYBOY (@_thedafe), one of the most hardworking creative anywhere! and the manager to my GOAT (VICTONY), he’s really going to change the game for good as it is.

Anyways i was able to talk to him (PARTYBOY) for a few days, but trust me it was one of the best “few days” of my life!, a calm soul, straight to business, humble too and as busy as ever! I wish him success in absolutely everything.

It’ll take a while, for me to completely get across to him because of how busy he is, i can’t say i can relate, but i understand!.... so even if it takes years, i’m getting into KVLT and i’ll make a movie about it!!!. 

Feels like i need someone or something to be responsible to.

I’m constantly working so hard to prove my worth!

A stupid stubborn boy - that’s who i am, come and beat me if you don’t like my guts.

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My truth, i’ll live up to it!

My art, you’ll read it and understand it!

I’m going to start something, maybe after i’m done with UNI already have a name ready, you want to know what it is?, pray for me! and let wish number 2 become a reality.

I’ve always said “there’s no blueprint to success”, no book can dictate/ determine how you will succeed , not everything that worked for other people will work for you, most just want to get to the top without putting in that hard work, i mean, who wouldn’t want the “easier way out”, and still the “easier way out” can be your own success story... only thing is not everyone can afford that luxury.

If there’s anything i’ve learnt with the amount of creatives i’ve studied, idolised and followed, it is to EXPLORE MORE... You really don’t know what exactly will work out for you until you try it.

I feel most of you will be very confused at this point with this post, unfortunately this is how i think, no direct focus, abstractly and indirectly.

To the 40+ humans steady reading my post! i love each of you!, thank you for sticking with me even as i’m falling off.

Till next week!

Stay soft <3

Written and compiled by LOCAL MAN aspiring KVLTist